I'm wondering if anyone ever reads this sentence.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Follow the Leaders!

First up... you know him as the roly-poly maestro of over-pronunciation... a man who incapable of adding anything of value to any broadcast beyond pronouncing names like "Ramirez" and "Gonzalez" like some third-rate seventh-grade Spanish teacher... a man who voluntarily shows up on national television dressed like a fried egg (see picture, credit to Bronxbombersblog)... why, it's Jon Miller!

Next up... a Hall of Fame second baseman from the Cincinnati Reds... probably the stupidest motherfucking broadcaster ever to walk God's green earth... a man who once said "leadoff walks are worse than other walks, because you give the other team a better chance of bringing that run around." A man who prefaces every single observation - no matter how trivial, banal, or obvious - with "I've always said that..." Yes, it's your favorite and mine, Joe Morgan!

And, finally, ESPN is immensely proud to introduce a new addition to the already-impeccable Sunday Night team. A former GM and serial philanderer... a man who thinks Carlos Beltran needs to make more "game-winning plays" to be a "leader".... Steve Phillips!

Got a question about who the "leaders" are on the Mets, if any? You're in luck!

Hear Jon, Joe and Steve talk about the Mets needing a "leader" - for three hours straight!

Watch in awe as they discuss what it means to be a "leader"!

Listen in amazement as "leadership" qualities - none of which have anything to do with banalities such as batting average, RBI, OBP, slugging percentage, or hitting, fielding, and running abilities - are addressed in full!

Listen as Joe reports how Met fans "are still waiting for Beltran to get on a hot streak"! That's right...batting over .400 for the first six weeks of the season is for non-"leaders"!

Hear Steve destroy Beltran for a single at-bat that took place three years ago - and learn that a true "leader" bats 1.000 for his career, commits 0 errors, and makes 0 baserunning blunders!

Watch as Jon continues to resemble a fried egg....but a fried egg with "leadership" qualities!

It's ESPN's Leader Sunday Night Baseball! Catch the leader fever!

Oh, and there might also be a baseball game being played.

Leader!!

3 Comments:

Blogger Theresa Muir said...

I thought my head would explode. I don't know what was worse, the loss or listening to that nonstop crap. What about the rant on Reyes, all while the camera was steadily trained on him in the dugout for about five minutes? Downright creepy.

10:01 AM

 
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey has long yearned for a Leader to emerge on this team who will one day open the doors of The Forbidden Barn and lead the Mets to the planet of Blisstonia.

2:13 PM

 
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

BTW, Toasty should alert his buddy Tom who kindly created the banner for RwR that Rickey has temporarily amended several key parts of it.

11:46 PM

 

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